The other day I heard this super powerful quote, “your motherhood is only as powerful as your womanhood.” That quote was designed to light me up and hold me accountable. I learned to value my ability to play the sacrificial lamb very early on. I thought that the ultimate sign of love was abandoning my own needs and putting all my time and energy into the person that I loved. And then I became a mother. Something inside me switched once I gave birth to my son. I realized that sacrificing myself meant sacrificing the person created to literally keep my child alive. Because I had not done much over the years to take care of myself, I felt pretty stuck during my son’s first year of life. I knew I needed to learn how to prioritize myself for the physical, emotional, and mental health of my son, but I did not know what taking care of myself and my needs looked like. 

I started therapy which has really helped me address past trauma, but I still had no clue who I was and what I liked and needed in life. I needed to reimagine my womanhood for the sake of my motherhood. I can’t give you an update on how I have transformed, because, quite honestly, I am still trying to figure out my womanhood. I am still trying to identify what I like, what I need from my relationships, what activates me, what my expectations are of others, and what my expectations are of myself. I have A LOT of work to do. Nonetheless, I am still pretty proud that I have recognized the impact of understanding my own identity as a woman. A black woman, more specifically. I am a work in progress who is committed to progress.